I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
