i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
