Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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