Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
