apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
