i always forget guys have bellybuttons
home. puking in laundry basket.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize