ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I love you.
Bad choice
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