I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
