I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
