halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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