non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize