I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
