Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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