we're blogging at a bar
D3 body, D1 cock
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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