Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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