Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
