The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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