Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
