Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
