Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
smell my finger.
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i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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