Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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