I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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