to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize