yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
