So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is Oprah even human
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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