I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
