Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
