My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Randomize
