i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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