this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
