lets start a swedish sibling band together
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
