I wannas sexs uuuuu
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
