u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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