Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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