Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
