But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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