Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
