I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
