i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
