I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
