I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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