Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize