We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
