Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sext me about skeletons
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
