so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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