He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
