he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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