so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
