WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
