I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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