I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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