Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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