Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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