Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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