We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize