I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
