We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Of course I have a pirate flag
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
