What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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