are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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