The maid of honor just puked.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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