just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
