did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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