I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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